Scheduling can also be an area of conflict for the two of you, as they like to leave things open-ended, while you prefer things planned and settled. The INFP is happy to sit back and enjoy their alone time. Often, the more organized partner ends up taking on more of the shared responsibilities, simply because they're paying more attention to what needs to be done. They are more comfortable with chaos and are happy to take life as it comes, whereas you try to create order, routine, and predictability. ESFJs will be intrigued by the INFPs passion. The final reason why INFPs and ESFJs may not be good for each other is that they have different energy levels. In successful relationships between an INFP and an ESFJ, they will appreciate having a partner who understands this point, and they will be happy about the level of comfort thats possible in a relationship between two feeling types. In addition, ESFJs and INFPs often differ in their receptivity to unconventional and eccentric ways of thinking. For this analysis, TraitLab gathered data about personality traits from thousands of participants who identified themselves as a particular type in the 16 Personality or Myers-Briggs framework. This means they love dwelling on abstract concepts. ESFJ is more of a talker. For example, Ne is the tertiary function for ESFJs while it is the auxiliary function for the INFP. While a lot of people rave about how compatible the INFP and ESFJ are, there still have a lot of differences. INFPs are usually slow to connect with others, but they may connect with ESFJs faster than normal. These subtle emotional differences often surface in your reactions to new information. This will make them feel loved and appreciated. WebIt draws on key INFJ-INFP differences, including how these types manage stress, emotions, conflict, relationships, money, parenting, and more. Your partner may be happy for you to take the floor; many Introverts prefer friends who can carry the conversation, so they don't feel pressured to come up with lots of things to say. In contrast, your counterpart tends to communicate in a straightforward, concrete way, focusing on facts, details, history, and real-life experiences. When making plans, you are inclined to spend a lot of time talking about the overall goal or theme of the planwithout having much interest in the details of exactly what will happen or how. ESFJs put a great amount of effort into their relationships. Deciding their schedule when going on trips and making plans together can be areas of conflict for INFPs and ESFJs as friends, since INFPs can like to go with the flow and be shaky on sticking to plans, while ESFJs want everything to be organized and hate when there are unexpected changes to the plans. Both ESFJs and INFPs tend to be on the friendlier side and are attentive to the needs and interests of other people, sometimes at the expense of your own goals. INFPs are more idealistic. INFP and ESFJ Relationship- All or Nothing, The Unhealthy ESFJ- Understanding the ESFJ Dark Side, INFP and ENTJ Relationship- Testing the Waters, Famous INFPs- The Complete List across All Categories, The Unhealthy ENTJ- Understanding the ENTJ Dark Side, The Unhealthy ISTP (Understanding the ISTP Dark Side), The Unhealthy ENFJ- Understanding the ENFJ Dark Side, The Unhealthy ISFP- Understanding the ISFP Dark Side, Enneagram 2 in Love- What to Expect in a Relationship, Receiving Gifts Love Language- The Complete Guide, Physical Touch Love Language- Complete Guide, Love Languages- Quality Time (Complete Guide), Love Languages- Words of Affirmation (A Helpful Guide), 18 INTJ Anime Characters/Cartoon Characters We Absolutely Love, Enneagram 4 in Love- What to Expect in a Relationship. Learning more about your own type with an in-depth assessment is a great place to start to build the self-awareness that is key to successful relationships. Understandably, the INFP is part of their day. Join. Additionally, despite their differences in how they see the world and communicate, INFPs and ESFJs can often have similar senses of humor and can find each others jokes and antics to be funny. See how ESFJs and INFPs get along in this guide to ESFJ/INFP relationships. Compared to most INFPs, you and most ESFJs experience positive emotions such as joy, satisfaction, and happiness more often than most INFPs. Discover how your needs, motivations, and perspectives drive you in relationshipsand how to avoid common pitfallswith our scientifically validated TypeFinder personality assessment. We and our partners share information on your use of this website to help improve your experience. Another difference between ESFJs and INFP is in their typical emotional valence, which describes tendencies towards positive or negative emotions. That said, while INFPs and ESFJs are both feeling types, their energies are focused in different directions. ESFJs can also strengthen their INFP partners trust in them by being more understanding and supportive of their dreams and ways of approaching life. The Fe/Fi CLASHES! This means they like to work with a schedule or a well-mapped-out plan. They put themselves first when it comes to their emotions and values. But that's me, an ENTP, talking of my relationship with an ESFJ. At their best, they are friendly, affectionate, and bring out the warmth and sympathy in others. INFPs and ESFJs can improve their communication with each other by doing the following: INFPs and ESFJs connect on their shared sensitivity and sense of humor. You tend to be a bit more quiet and reserved, and are often more comfortable letting others have the floor. They focus on building practical skills and essential knowledge and are less likely to spend time learning for learnings sake. Both INFPs and ESFJs need to hold their conversations with each other with compassion as a guiding principle. Your counterpart has a similar value system, but theirs is more practical and logical. What this means is that INFPs feelings are focused inward, while ESFJs focus theirs outward. In contrast, your counterpart puts a high value on tradition and stability. They see the glass as half-empty and have a more skeptical outlook and a hesitant approach to life. The following are some possible areas of conflict for INFPs and ESFJs: INFPs and ESFJs can resolve conflict by being more open to compromise and finding ways to improve their communication with each other. INFPs tend to communicate in abstract ways which ESFJs dont hold much value in. Just try to accommodate your partner where you can. Your partner, by contrast, is energized by activity and probably makes plenty of room for friends, family, and social events. They both may also feel like their partner is looking down on them sometimes. In the graph below, you can see where most ESFJs and most INFPs fall along both of these dimensions. You should also learn about the enneagram. That Directly intervening in other peoples emotional experiences can feel manipulative or pushy to the INFP. You offer support that can be useful immediatelythats today instead of somedaywhich is the exact opposite of the future-focus your partner prefers. Lifestyle is an under-appreciatedbut extremely importantelement of compatibility. Yes, INFPs and ESFJs can be close friends and can have a friendship that lasts a lifetime. ESFJ usually struggles with these concepts. You may end up feeling nagged or harassed by your partner's demands for organization, but it's important to remember that working on this aspect of your personality is a way of respecting who they are. Conflict is sure to erupt at some point in any serious relationship. Both types have different ways of solving problems. INFPs and ESFJs are two of the most caring personality types. I respectfully disagree. ESFJs, on the other hand, are more practical. The problems in the INFP and ESFJ relationship start with organization. As an ESFJ, you'll want to keep these issues in mind when you get to know an INFP. They are kind-hearted and sensitive. WebINFP and ESFJ personalities both possess the Feeling trait, meaning they are empathetic, conscientious, and enjoy communicating emotionally. ESFJs are sensors. ESFJs need to be more honest about their true feelings and desires and INFPs need to be more open to making some adjustments based on ESFJs needs. INFPs show their love in the following ways: Both INFPs and ESFJs see sex as more than a physical act. One aspect that you and many INFPs have in common in their interpersonal warmth. ESFJs can learn from INFPs to be more creative and open to new ideas, especially in terms of thinking more about future goals. They are curious and want to explore those ideas. These differences can be quite frustrating for these two types as the INFP can find the ESFJ too rigid and overly concerned about what others think of them, while the ESFJ can find the INFP to be too lazy and see them as caught up in their own desires at the expense of other people. Know yourself and your traumas so you can move forward with a better understanding of what you need. You and most ESFJs tend to fall on the more positive side. They focus on making connections and interpreting meaning, the "why" of the thing in question. The section below describes how each person Apr 29, 2010 ESFJ womenso, I dated two ESFJs in the past. The ESFJ will see them as risky and reckless. I hope its clearer now. You are a deeply idealistic and so passionate about what you believe. INFPs can build the trust of ESFJs by being more reliable and selfless. This combination of INFPs creativity and ESFJs practicality can result in them being a great team and incredible life partners. Communication can be a challenge between any two people, and communication between INFP and ESFJ personality types is not the exception. Its all or nothing. Although this has the potential to be aggravating for both of you, it's also an opportunity for each of you to discover a new style of living. The ESFJ female may notice this distance forming and become insecure about it, digging her claws in deeper. This can be a sore spot for them and hinder their relationship with each other. As with most ESFJs, you tend to have a higher baseline energy level than most INFPs. While you dream of adventure to keep things interesting, your counterpart has a low tolerance for shaking things up for the sake of it. For INFPs, this feeling may come when they try to share their dreams and visions with the ESFJ, and their ESFJ partner questions the logistics of their thoughts or behaves unenthusiastically about what theyre saying. ESFJs value quality time as well. Finding a middle ground can be difficult. That's not to say you shouldn't be friends; in fact, you might find that spending time with this person introduces you to ways of thinking that help you learn and grow. As you probably saw, it says good communication on some level. But, it gets better. Both INFPs and ESFJs can struggle to hear criticism, even if it is necessary and correct. Whether you get along with someone has more to do with your own self-knowledge and your sensitivity to your friend's needs and preferencesnot some magic formula. INFPs thrive in unstructured environments with fewer constraints and more room for improvisation and serendipity. If they are in a relationship with the ESFJ, sharing these things with them comes naturally. INFP and ESFJ are Socionics Illusionary relations. These traits are considered as more typical of women in our society. The INFP male may feel that because he doesnt care about things being organized and structured, he shouldnt have to do those things for the sake of the ESFJ who is the one who cares about it. Communicating your needs is crucial, as you both have a different tolerance for stimulation and social activities. Those lower on aesthetics tend to value practical application over artistic merit and usually adhere to more conventional standards of beauty. There are two dimensions that influence emotional style: arousal and valence. When making plans, you tend to focus on the specific steps that will occur. For them, daily life is for living through their body and their senses. "The INFP/ENFJ combination is ideal, because it shares the Intuiting way of perceiving, but the INFP/ESFJ combination is also a good match." Working consistently with a narrow focus often comes naturally to many ESFJs like you, but you may find that INFPs benefit from additional structure to keep them on track. If you share a physical space, you may disagree over how clean, tidy, and organized it needs to be. WebINFP s and ENFJ s have some common themes that often arise when they get to know each other. On some level, communication is great in this relationship. There is no reason why the two approaches cannot exist side by side, although you may find your partners approach too traditional and closed to new ideas (thats not how we do it) when youre considering ways to tackle problems. You are one of lifes doers and you like to take concrete action. Sometimes, Fe types can get so in the habit of sacrificing themselves and their own wants and desires that they lose sight of who they are and what it is they actually want. You have entered an incorrect email address! They are always up for an adventure and are not afraid to test the waters. WebINFJ s and ESFP s have some common themes that often arise when they get to know each other. The first step is to acknowledge that you have different approaches, and that each style has its benefits. People with a more negatively valenced style are more likely to experience sadness, frustration, dissatisfaction, and anxiety. Compared to ESFJs, most INFPs may need additional time and space to recover from stress. This can be a problem. We all have different motivators, values and views on the world, in part driven by our personalities. They may sometimes feel that you simply aren't serious or driven enough, while you may occasionally find them seriously lacking in fun. For a personalized look at your relationship style across 23 facets of personality, plus in-depth advice on maximizing your strengths in relationships, check our our scientifically validated TypeFinder personality assessment. ESFJs may be too agreeable and quick to compromise. This is an important trait for them to share because it provides an area where they can connect and understand each other. With their warm personalities, ESFJs attract a circle of friends that can prove stimulating to the INFJ. INFJs can bring more warmth and intimacy to the relationship by initiating activities they share as a twosome, often strengthening their bond. Then, try to make sure your time together includes both scheduled events and free time for spontaneity, so both of you get a chance to be at your best. INFPs can sometimes be quite ambitious, but they get stuck in the planning stage or struggle with being reliable and following through with their objectives. You are energized by alone time and need regular periods of solitude to recharge your batteries. The ESFJ will be ready to hear everything they have to say. Your counterpart will naturally feel more motivated to keep things in order, while you'll tend to have less of a need for organization. More individualistic, they strive to give everyone space to feel whatever they want good or bad. Values are intensely personal, and while an ESFJ and an INFP can find common ground, there will always be some differences in what you hold dear. When communicating with this person, you'll probably find that you tend to do more of the talking. What are some areas that might cause them problems as friends? It is generally unproductive to try to convince your partner that your structured, orderly way of doing things is the "correct" way, but if you approach it as simply stating your own preference, they may be more open to trying to accommodate you. While you like to establish structure in schedules, plans, and systems, your counterpart takes a more relaxed approach. The INFP will feel they have done nothing wrong. In other words, INFPs tend to center themselves more when it comes to their emotions and making decisions while ESFJs tend to place others first. The ESFJ can teach the INFP about organization and being more principled. Between the two of you, you are more likely to seek out engaging activities perhaps social events, outdoor adventures, or a new class, depending on your interests. ESFJs are also very structured. They dont do very well with surprises and spontaneous activities. Lifestyle is an under-appreciatedbut extremely importantelement of compatibility. Whether you get along with someone has more to do with your own self-knowledge and your sensitivity to your friend's needs and preferencesnot some magic formula. Both parties might have different ideas on how their relationship can improve. ESFJs AKA social butterflies also desire social stimulation in a way that INFPs just dont. How do the Values of INFP and ESFJ Match Up? On one hand, this is a benefit: both of you tend to be reliable partners, ready and willing to help each other when needed. The ESFJ female may have to bear more of the emotional load in the relationship, and if they live together, that of the household as well. Its easy to see why this is attractive to the INFP. When it comes to relationships, these two have similar goals: commitment, loyalty, emotional WebAs an ESFP, you'll want to keep these issues in mind when you get to know an INFJ. This relationship is known as a neutral good relationship with Socionics. the last relationship lasted a bit over a year and they were both really good relationships. So, they like to stick to trusted methods. ESFJs enjoy meeting new people, but they are more drawn to committed relationships with someone special. Knowing what to expect in a relationship will make things easier. Overview Assessment Types Relationships Wings VIEW ALL. So what's the upside? So, they tend to be more organized. If the two of them are unable to compromise, their relationship will likely either not last long or will be long-lasting but unhappy. Given how different they are, its not surprising that there are a few reasons why INFPs and ESFJs may not be a good match for each other. WebThe ESFJ will expect the INFP to be organized. You focus on making connections and interpreting meaning, exploring the "why" of the thing in question. If you never feel you get to express yourself with this person, it's time to let them know that your relationship needs some tweaking. INFP will want to try out new ideas. They wont appreciate you refusing to socialize with them, leaving them alone and lonely, just as you wont appreciate them overbooking the social calendar. The INFP will fail at this. You both excel in sticking to values that are important to you, but your partner can help you understand the practical reality of these values. INFPs highly value spontaneity and the flexibility to change their mind, and they resist setting hard deadlines or rigid expectations. Don't be tempted to fill every lull in the conversation with chatter! You both excel in sticking to values that are important to you, but you can help you partner understand the practical reality of these values. Though communication can be a problem area for INFPs and ESFJs, it doesnt have to stay this way. None of these differences is insurmountable and with a little compromise you can easily meet each others needs. You may need to learn to tolerate some silence in your conversation as they get their thoughts together. If you think of being organized as a means of showing respect or caring for the other person, rather than a chore, this may help you to feel more motivated. While INFPs (and other Fi types) can be too selfish, ESFJs (and other Fe types) can be too selfless and too concerned about what others think of them. The INFP may feel like they have someone to help them achieve their goals, and the ESFJ may feel like they have a place to let out their deepest worries and feelings. Like many ESFJs, you often lean towards well-worn, conventional approaches and view new alternatives with healthy skepticism. As an INFP, you'll want to keep these issues in mind when you get to know an ENFJ. WebPeople with an INFP personality type tend to be reserved, idealistic, and adaptable in their behavior. 11m . Here's how taking a personality assessment together can help:, Everyone in your life has personality traits that may be challenging for you to navigate because they are so differ. Your particular style of communicating and interacting with others can be described fairly well by two dimensions: assertiveness and warmth. All rights reserved. Then, try to make sure your time together includes both scheduled events and free time for spontaneity, so you each get a chance to be at your best. They can easily imagine a better world, and they enthusiastically embrace change when you see it as a positive move forward. This usually translates to other qualities such as hospitality and generosity. This person likely has a higher energy level than you do, and you may find their enthusiasm overwhelming at times. ESFJs should consider being more experimental or unpredictable in bed. So, the ESFJ will want to plan their day. According to thought catalog, both the ESFJ and INFP have quality time and words of affirmation in their top 3 love languages. The graph below shows where each type, on average, usually sits in this emotional space. Because ESFJs are more traditional, their hospitality and generosity might also appeal to them. The INFP personality type can be too idealistic and put their partners on a pedestal, and then when their partner fails to live up to the perfect image they created of them, INFPs can end up getting disappointed and taking it out on the ESFJ. The INFP will fail at this. Because their auxiliary function is Si, they look to previous experiences when faced with problems. So, try to make them. None of these differences is insurmountable and with a little compromise you can easily meet each others needs. In stressful times, they are more likely to withdraw quietly and retreat inward, rather than share their frustration with others. But you never accept suffering as a fact of life; to you, we all have a responsibility to change, improve, and become better than we are. When making plans, they tend to focus on the specific steps that will occur. They're not trying to be negative; your counterpart simply doesn't have your talent for visualization. Feedback is hard to give and even harder to receive - but the Enneagram can help! How compatible are ESFJ and INFP patterns of communicating, thinking, and working? You counterpart, by contrast, may dream of adventure to keep things exciting. Just like other combinations, you will have differences. INFPs are super introverts. They can also fail to go after things (be they a person, interest/hobby, or an opportunity) because they are concerned about what someone else may think or want. You are a deeply practical and logical person. They are highly idealistic and interested in opportunities to make the world a better place. The creativity of the INFP is never in doubt. Orderliness describes your need for regularity, order, and structure in your environment. Dont be like this person. INFPs are often more intellectual and practical than they are given credit for, and their creative ways of thinking can lead to them coming up with innovative solutions to solve problems. Theres an opportunity here to introduce one another to new ways of thinking. And in turn, you can help them to come back down to earth and discuss the details and facts of a situation, not just the big idea. Naturally, they enjoy discussions about abstract concepts and ideas. While ESFJs are extroverted, their Fe means they are willing to listen. They are naturally caring people who thrive when everyone around them is doing well. Acknowledge your negative emotions and trace them back to the source of why you feel that way. The two of you have some very fundamental differences in how you see things, and this can make getting along a challenge for both of you. You show your concern by offering pragmatic solutions, delivered in the here and now, such as giving a helping hand to a friend in need. If you're an ESFJ in a relationship with an INFP, discover how you'll communicate, interact, and relate to each other in daily life. Here are 5 tips to help you make friends for the, Want to know how to better regulate your emotions and live a happier life? Fundamentally, your counterpart is concerned with people, relationships, and values. Extraverts sometimes assume that because Introverts are a bit slower to get going, they have nothing to say. ESFJs are practical realists. Both partners will feel loved and appreciated. ESFJs are more logical and realistic. INFP and ESFJ are both interested in people. Where you differ is how your values are directed. Organization may be a sticking point between the two of you. ESFJs should realize that INFPs are private people who need time to process things on their own. They need a good idea of how their day will go. But they never accept suffering as a fact of life; rather, they believe we all have a responsibility to change, improve, and become better than we are. As an Intuitive Feeling type, you seek deep, meaningful connection in your relationships. At your worst together, you'll tend to view this person as flighty, unrealistic, and impractical. Given the traits that these two types possess, there are a few reasons why they can be good for each other: Both INFPs and ESFJs are feeling types. Other times, it can be frustrating. Here are 5 tips to help you make friends for the, Want to know how to better regulate your emotions and live a happier life? Theyll love seeing the power of the Fe up close for sure. Your counterpart has a similar value system, but theirs is more deeply idealistic. They often practice some form of creative expression and are likely to hold a few unconventional, eccentric beliefs. WebESFJ and INTP in Daily Life Lifestyle is an under-appreciatedbut extremely importantelement of compatibility. When this couple is with others, the ESFJ takes center stage. However, INFPs are also more As you can see, theres a big clash there. Web147. Compared to most people, they can easily drift into gloom and melancholy. They are one of lifes doers and they believe that actions speak louder than words. Your counterpart can help you to see the big picture and imagine things differently. What does ESFJ stand for? ESFJ is an acronym used to describe one of the sixteen personality types created by Katharine Briggs and Isabel Myers. It stands for Extraverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging. Communication is another challenge, since your partner prefers to deal with issues immediately while you may try to sweep problems under the rug. Much of what they communicate is their idea, theory, or interpretation of what they see, rather than a direct observation. WebESFJ vs INFP Personality People focused and action oriented the ESFJ is driven by a sense of duty. You can easily imagine how the world could be a better place and enjoy empowering others to explore possibilities, whether they act on these ideas or not. You empathize easily with others, and you often feel their suffering acutely. Being selfless and putting others first at times is important, but so too is being selfish occasionally, and INFPs and ESFJs have the potential to teach each other these essential lessons. Generally, INFPs value having the freedom and flexibility to navigate their lives however they want to. People focused and action oriented the ESFJ is driven by a sense of duty. Both types will happily contribute. You need time to think something through before having an important conversation, and can feel backed into a corner if your partner gets all pushy and naggy. On the other hand, your mutual passivity can stall decisions and action, especially if both of you are waiting for the other to take the lead. They are curious people, often lost in thought. The ESFJs extroversion can bring the INFP out of their shell, and the INFPs laid-back approach to life can get the ESFJ to slow down sometimes and enjoy the fruits of their labor if they are willing to listen. Your partner can help you to become more spontaneous and ensure you are enjoying all that life has to offer. However, there is also another possibility at play here that can strengthen them both immensely, especially the ESFJ. This allows them to remain in touch with the emotions and feelings of those around them. A second difference between ESFJs and INFPs is in their relative need for order, structure, and regularity. Most people have complex personalities and dont fall into a single personality type. At their worst, they will try to please others too much, put others needs ahead of their own, and allow others to take advantage of them. The same news that sparks enthusiasm in you and most ESFJs can induce worry in INFPs. There are plenty of hobbies here that you could both be interested in, but it can cause rifts between couples who cant agree on what they want to do in their spare time.