Above all, Texas is a nation in every sense of the word. All of us are joining in to say, that may the year which your birthday begins, brings all the special things, that mean the most to you. When Davy Crockett ran for a seat in Congress from Tennessee in 1835, he proclaimed that if he lost, the people in his district "may go to hell and I will go to Texas." One time she wrote about sports. 15. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. So dry the catfish are carrying canteens. Texans represent many things to the uninitiated: We are bigger than life in our boots and Stetsons, rugged individualists whose two-steppin has achieved world-wide acclaim, and we were the first to define hospitality. Ann Richards. Got a big hole in the fence.I got my ox in a ditch.He loaded the wrong wagon.They hung the wrong horse thief.He ripped his britches.Theres a yellowjacket in the outhouse. The Lone Star State has inspired some truly beautiful travel quotes. You could ride all the way to Big Spring on it and never split a hair.It wouldnt cut hot butter.You could scratch your back with it and never draw blood. Someone doesn't merely dieshe opens herself up a worm farm. 7. Hes on a first-name basis with the bottom of the deck.So crooked that if he swallowed a nail hed spit up a corkscrew.So crooked you cant tell from his tracks if hes coming or going.He knows more ways to take your money than a roomful of lawyers.Crooked as a dogs hind leg.Crooked as the Brazos.Slicker than a slop jar.More twists than a pretzel factory.Crooked as a barrel of fish hooks.So crooked he has to unscrew his britches at night.Shes more slippery than a pocketful of pudding.Hes slicker than a boiled onion.I wouldnt trust him any farther than I can throw him. Raised on concrete.Doesnt know a bit from a butt.You dont live longer in the city; it just seems that way. -Larry McMurtry, This is Texas. this is one of the funniest Texas expressions! May you have a delicious and partylicious birthday! He jumped on me like a duck on a June bug.He jumped on me like white on rice.He can blow out the lamp and jump into bed before it gets dark.He gets there in one-half less than no time.Quick out of the chute.Fast as greased lightning.Fast as small-town gossip.Faster than a prairie fire with a tail wind.Faster than a scalded cat.Faster than double-struck lightning.Faster than a sneeze through a screen door.Going like a house afire.Hell-bent for leather.Any faster and hed catch up to yesterday.In a New York minute. These funny birthday quotes will put a smile on your face. Texans think big. Phil Gramm, Texas women are like snowflakes. All over the world, traveling Texans tend to identify as Texan rather than American, because, well, we get treated like celebrities when we do. Elizabeth Abrahamsen. Read our. A Texan outside of Texas is a foreigner.". It ought to do so, for no country upon the globe can compare with it in natural advantages. September 23, 2021; by Victoria Hudgins; Inside: Happy 28th Birthday Quotes + Captions. Dumb as a box of rocks. The How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days star, 53, and . 7. Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut. Birthdays Sayings and Quotes. Oct 2, 2014 - Explore rosa hernandez's board "Texas birthday greetings" on Pinterest. (For people without US cell phone plans). The festival includes live performances from Texas artists like Aaron Watson, the Josh Abbott Band, Kyle Park and more. I felt a little guilty about jangling the poor buggers brains with that evil fantasy. Hes so country he thinks a seven-course meal is a possum and a six-pack. That Texas pride really shines through in these quotes. Jennifer Yane. Even if theyre not American, people know about Texas. And we Texans know how to take it all in stride! He could fall up a tree.Couldnt ride a nightmare without falling out of bed.He couldnt knock a hole in the wind with a sackful of hammers.So bad at farming he couldnt raise Cain.He couldnt hit the floor if he fell out of bed.Handy as hip pockets on a hog.Worthless as teats on a bull.Worthless as a sidesaddle on a sow.Not worth spit.He couldnt organize a pissing contest in a brewery.Useless as two buggies in a one-horse town.He could screw up a two-car funeral.Tie a quarter to it and throw it away, and you can say you lost something.Hes got no more chance than a June bug in the chicken coop.Hes a day late and a dollar short.He cant win for losing.Hes sucking hind teat.I need that like a tomcat needs a trousseau.Shes itching for something she wont scratch for.Why close the barn door after the horses are out?No more good than an eyeless needle.Like warming up leftover snow.Like pushing a wheelbarrow with rope handles.Like sweet-talking the water out of the well. Bright as a new penny.Smart as a hooty owl.No flies on my mama.Smart as a whip. The 105 Funny get well wishes for friends, mother, father, son and daughter; 35+ Feel Better Soon Quotes; 65+ Get . Looks like hell with everyone out to lunch.Out where the buses dont run. Want to plan your Texas road trip in a few easy steps? I like it here in Austin. History Fangirl is a participant in the Amazon Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. - Jim Gaffigan. )Dont get all het up about it.Theres a big difference between the ox and the whiffletree.Theres no tree but bears some fruit.Skin your own buffalo.You better throw a sop to the dogs.Dont squat on your spurs.Any mules tail can catch cockleburs.A drought usually ends with a flood.If you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.A lean dog runs fast.The apple doesnt fall far from the tree. Best Funny & Humorous Happy Birthday Wishes Wayne Chirisa. Curtis Jackson, aka 50 Cent Funny Birthday Quotes. Every year on your bday, you get a chance to start new. -Larry L. King, What do the Texans say? Check out my Balkan Travel Blog + Oklahoma Travel Blog, 50 Stunning Hawaii Quotes & Hawaii Instagram Caption Inspiration, 101 Quotes about Los Angeles & LA Quotes that Make Perfect LA Instagram Captions, 50 Inspirational Kansas Quotes for Kansas Instagram Captions & Statuses, 101 Gorgeous Quotes About California & Fabulous California Instagram Captions, 250 Inspirational Travel Quotes & Travel Instagram Captions, 101 Fabulous Quotes about New York & New York Instagram Captions, 30 Beautiful Chicago Quotes & Chicago Instagram Caption Inspiration, 13 Inspirational Colorado Quotes & Colorado Instagram Inspiration, The Best Texas Quotes & Texas Instagram Captions. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back. Getty A police officer walks outside of the closed Alamo on April 1, 2020 in downtown San Antonio, Texas, during a stay at home order amid the novel coronavirus outbreak. Two tips on your birthday: 1) Forget the past, you can't change it. There's more to come, be prepared and keep thinking big even as you grow older. 2. Wishing you a cheerful 60th birthday. "Pleas'd to look forward, pleas'd to look behind, and count each birthday with a grateful mind." - Alexander Pope. He can strut sitting down.Hes all hat and no cattle.Shes all gurgle and no guts.He chamber-of-commerced it. )Why shear a pig?Dont snap my garters.A guilty fox hunts his own hole.Quit hollering down the rain.Dont rile the wagon master.Better to keep your mouth shut and seem a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.The barn doors open and the mules trying to run. I'm taking your birthday as an opportunity to thank you for all that you are to me. Not what I had my face fixed for.Like hugging a rose bush.Nothing to write home about.That dog wont hunt.Id just as soon bite a bug.I dont cotton to it. 1. Honestly, there are so many funny sayings about Texas that you would get sore as a boil after reading them all. Handy as sliced bread.Handy as shirt pockets.Handy as a latch on the outhouse door. Ron Brackin, I didnt drive eleven hours across the state of Texas to watch my cholesterol. 4. The Texanist: Is It Okay For Non-Texans to Say Howdy? Here are some fun quotes about Texas, yall! Noisy as two skeletons dancing on a tin roof.Noisy as a restless mule in a tin barn.Noisier than cats making kittens.Noisier than a cornhusk mattress.Louder than Grandpas Sunday tie.He called his hogs all night. If you do use one, Id love if you linked or tagged me so I can enjoy your work! 3. Did you hear me? Happy 60th Birthday. May 5 2011 at 4 43 am the best thing to come out of oklahoma is 35 south. Hissy fit. -Janine Turner, Texas is a state of mind. And funny birthday saying about age that shed a positive light on getting older. -Pete Hamill, Texas is a blend of valor and swagger. -Time Blair, Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called walking. -George W. Bush, Texas is big now, but imagine the size of her as a republic. I feel sorry for you. Herere the best Texas sayings, quotes, and expressions. And what could possibly be a better way to talk about this state than discussing its funny Texas sayings, quotes, expressions, and jokes? The general store, the hat: the line between the myth of Texas and the reality of Texas is razor-thin. Manny Fernandez, Read next: Romantic Weekend Getaways in Texas, Texas does not, like any other region, simply have indigenous dishes. The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. "Inside every older person is a younger personwondering what the hell happened.". Drop them in the comments below! Anybody got a room? Keith Richards, You dont just move into Texas. -John Steinbeck. "I think Texans have more fun than the rest of the world." - Tommy Tune. hes cheap. Texas girls are a whole different breed. John Cusack, What you northerners never appreciate is that Texas is so big that you can live your life within its limits and never give a damn about what anyone in Boston or San Francisco thinks. James Michener, I like it here in Austin. Hot will cool if greedy will let it.Take a tater and wait.Dont get your panties in a wad.Wash off your war paint. My heart felt wishes and blessings are coming your way on the wonderful occasion of your birthday. Celebrate one more turn around the sun with the collection of quotes about birthdays below. University of Houston history professor Raul Ramos gives his take on 10 of the most important dates leading to the establishment of the Republic of . Shy as a mail-order bride.Shy as a crocus.Shy as sapphires. These are among the most empowering quotes for turning 25. It can be kind of a pain to find the major guidebooks once you land, or youll find them overpriced. "When I was young, the Dead Sea was still alive.". Need Texas sayings about girls from Texas? "You Can Imagine Me as a Kid Growing up in Redneck Texas with Ballet Shoes, Tucking the Violin under My Arm.
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