OP: I think most people can tell when there is some genuine interest going on. To obtain resin in Conan Exiles, players must collect its in-game nodes from the environment near trees and other plants. Test more. If she doesn't drive a conversation on her own initiative then stand down and shrug it off. I think you should go for it, but Im optimistic like that. I worked a lot of retail jobs during middle school, high school, and college, and its unbelievable how many people misinterpret someone being polite and friendly as flirting. What do you think about customers asking you out? Thank goodness none of them ever tried anything like this, you poor thing! Just as fraking capable of taking care of myself as any man ,thankyouverymuch. i like it when people ask my name. I worked in a restaurant and customers hit on me often but the man I am now married to, for 38 years (!) There is some amazing advice here, from so many perspectives. I just checked it for my area, and, sure enough I delivered your pizza last night; you were in a swimsuit. They are so well matched it was bashert. Youre the second person to mention Facebook. For fun and entertainment? The power differential is still theredepending on store management, the customer still may have the power to get this person yelled at/firedbut its a lot less so. Mention some public event coming up in the upcoming week that you are planning to attend, such as a concert, puppet show, debate, whatever. If youre going to do this, the leaving your number AND THEN LEAVING, with the expectation of not returning to that business, is the least awful approach. I named myself after Moss because I missed him. Ooh, get a few people to go to a bar in the mall, and ask him to join you all after the shift. This was in the rural South and I was a very, very closeted gay woman. But, try becoming friends outside of work first. There's a lot of bickering over culture here: I'm from the Netherlands, female, currently 26 years old. And of course, a lot of people would prefer not to field come-ons while theyre working. Get to know her (over a few visits to the grocery store) and in the process find somethings she's into. not into you, unless you look very good. -- until you get the message, and she's not gonna like it (see Tinkeringbell's answer for examples). But it was a bit of an eye opener when I saw him making the same friendly conversation with another beer-loving female customer. Be sincere and respectful in your approach as this will leave a good impression on them and make them more likely to accept your invitation. But this objection, that there is no other way to meet people besides asking them out when they are WORKING, is pretty silly. That was hilarious. Any approach must provide an easy exit for her so there'll be no uncomfortable conversations next time. You can try going to the supermarket at different times, e.g. Retail employees have to be nice to customers. Asking for help, clarification, or responding to other answers. With same-sex flirting, I feel like its a zillion times harder. If youre looking to get your hands on the Man Catcher in Castle Crashers, then youre in luck! They have been married for almost ten years and have three year old twins. I guess Im just a bit pessimistic in that it rarely happens that way. Answers always gonna be no if you dont ask. He also rips off an arm to use as a sword. People shouldnt just ask anyone everyone they find the least bit attractive while at their place of work but I think it is different if you think you could really have a strong connection with this person. About 15 years ago I met a girl working at a local convenience store. She thought he was attractive and they got on well. how in the heck are people supposed to meet these days if you dont want to do so at bars or online? I have spent about 8 years working retail and training other boys and girls to work retail ( cashiering). Hes at work. Ugh. And I would tell a couple of friends where I was going and who I was with. Then she returned change in copper coins, one at a time, staring me in the eye. I got asked out by a male repeat customer around my age who had always been polite, nonthreatening, was quite nice-looking, and very interesting to talk to. You can only do this is you wont be crushed by rejection and you wont be weird the next time you go to the store. I mean the problem is that it happens way more often than you think. OP: I think most people can tell when there is some genuine interest going on. Pick up something and buy it..from her lane. Im sick of this and I dont have to take it! One reason why you hear more and more complaints from women in retail is precisely because they are empowered, not because, as you seem to be implying, that we are all a bunch of fragile, frigid, special snowflakes who want to criminalize all interactions between men and women.. A response that is far more common than a many guys seem to think. Continue with Recommended Cookies, Would you be interested in going out sometime?. One dude at the bank I worked at in college asked me out over the intercom in the drivethru tellers lane and then got angry because I smiled and wished him a nice day whenever he came by. Thats the point for the worker, its a business interaction. If the OP says smalltalk isn't a thing, I believe him, and it's another sign that flirting won't go over well. Show interest and respect, compliment the cashier, and then invite them out. New blog post from our CEO Prashanth: Community is the future of AI, Improving the copy in the close modal and post notices - 2023 edition. Its how our brains are wired up. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! Shed been going to the coffee shop for several months, and he was really friendly every time they talked, complimenting her on safe topics like her manicure, etc. Acknowledge their feelings and thank them for being honest with you. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. I have read most of the answers, but none has found themselves in your situation. How To Ask A Cashier Out? If youre a regular, you can talk to her casually until she gets used to seeing you. Not discussions on the state of dating or generalized situations. I met my husband in a bar; I met my previous boyfriend at our mutual workplace. Women arent delicate flowers and men, as a gender whole, arent big scary monsters. After about 2 ", Although, if i were you, i would have used that line (but that's me). I think if the OP really, really wants to follow up on this guy, the way to do it is by very gradually escalating and paying a lot of attention to his responses. I was happy someone mentioned that. Any bashing, hateful attack Here, you're just leaving a breadcrumb trail. Look, retail employees get hit on day in and day out. Oh wait, I did actually end up in a four year relationship that had been a customer and he ended up being a creep with major control issues, but that could have happened no matter where we had met. This x a million. Once you have built up enough confidence and prepared your words, it is time to take action. It will only make your - This is a **positive community**. I must disclose agenda: I want a world where women are inherently safe and empowered. (Sorry couldnt resist), Thanks for that inspiring story; your friend is a smooth operator! Meet a friendly stranger in a very public, preferably bright lit space and, preferably surrounded by old friends and family. We laughed and decided best to keep things at friendly store chats. Too direct an approach also creates a Huge Awkwardness when you visit the shop in the future, as now she must explain her rejection. Consider a series of improving options. I came of age during a time where it was new and shocking for women to take planes, trains and automobiles on their own. Both scenarios happened to me multiple times and it was always uncomfortable and always put me in an intensely awkward situation. I dont think that asking someone out if done in a not creepy way is anything like being hit on. Im a male, nearly 30, and I have been going back and forth for weeks about somehow asking out this cashier at a grocery store I frequent. Thats how its been done forfreakingever. If she does just ask her if she'd ever consider having coffee with you. Be bold with your words if possible but dont be too overt or desperate. can we talk about GOOD companies for a change? Id rather meet people doing things Im interested in or through other friends. It sounds to me like OP is being very conscientious about the situation. I dont think its fair to ask people to voluntarily take on that risk at work when theres another approach that will neatly avoid that issue. So if you cant do that, or you can talk yourself into just enjoying the eye candy, dont do it. Make sure you speak clearly. She will appreciate you phrasing it in a way that doesn't put her on the spot. I agree. By entering this site you declare I have no doubt that there are some rare instances where this has worked out and the couple is now happily married with three kids and a dog and a white picket fence. ), This comment made me chuckle a little because I know that my husband (were he available) would never, ever pick up on this type of hint. is it unprofessional to have hickeys at work? You could try asking them out if you happened to run into them outside of work, however, they know who you are so it still makes it awkward if you go back to where they work. Additionally, try bringing up topics that have nothing do with romance; discussing something lighthearted may make things less intense and create a more relaxed atmosphere between both of you which could ultimately lead towards a positive outcome! So I had the chance to get to know him a little bit, he got to know me a little bit, we established a rapport, etc. Seriously. One creative way to ask out a cashier is through lindy hop dancing. If you know (And even then it might simply have been bad timing: he got in a car accident, etc)(or, sadly, he may already have a GF). I think the thing here, is thatlike someone posted upthreadhitting on versus asking out and what constitutes the line between them is subjective. Youre missing the point. Anyway, Ive taken to wearing a gold band on my ring finger to discourage that behavior, but men dont seem to notice. They dont look for or even care if they get a non-verbal clue she is interested. We looked into each others' eyes for about two weeks. This was an attractive chick asking about his day, a little more than the usual perfunctory interaction. Copyright 2007 - 2023 Ask A Manager. That complicates the process of turning you down if they don't want to date you. By the way, having this sort of opening is a big reason boys start rock bands. Don't. Being friendly is literally part of their job description. There's no way to know whether the "signs" you are picking up on are actually sig One night, I got all dressed up (hair in hot curlers and everything) and went to the drive thru to see him. Not eHarmony, they discriminate against gays and lesbians. In this case, it's simple: you get rejected. Thats a pointas the OP is gauging this guys interest, she should observe how he acts with other customers. Do you think hed be into that? In Ohio, we have drive-thrus where you can literally drive through and buy beer, cigarettes, pop, etc. Start with neutral topics (the weather is an evergreen) and see what her response is. I think you should go for it. We were both flattered though and it wasnt awkward. It gets so old! Youve got the people who say the waiter seemed friendly, so I gave him my number, and weve been married 30 years now. Anyway. Maybe we could get cheese fries on another day, then you know. Since cashiers handle cash and cards, they must have a high level of Thank you for the follow-up. Late in the thread but dont do it while they are working their CS role. It's usually pretty busy when I see her there so I both a) don't want to hold shit up trying to chat, And b) don't want to be "that guy" especially in front of a bunch of people. Whatever. If you naturally pass by there, it may be OK to stop for chit-chat. In an ideal world, a polite request for a date wouldnt be totally inappropriate. Eventually he came to pick up his little sister on a day I happened to be out sick. -while she wasnt ever really convinced that he was flirting with her, everyone else was You could do it this way; One thing you could do, since you go often to that store, is: start building a basic "relationship" with the cashier . I must be old fashioned too, how in the heck are people supposed to meet these days if you dont want to do so at bars or online? She might even get her manager to deny you access to the store. Hopefully she will respond. If she does not react then forget it. Express low-key interest in seeing the person outside of work, give your card/number, and make it clear through your words and actions that you can happily take no for an answer. Could, please, the downvoters explain why they do so ? And Ive just finished my milk.. Good day!". This seems like a bit of an overreaction to someone stating their opinion in a non-rude or abrasive manner. It was my first job ever, I worked part time for a store that primarily sold video games and video game accessories. Communicating that it's no big deal if she says no shows confidence, and also shows that you haven't been writing romantic poetry thinking about her for the last six months while you have no idea who she is (creepy-creepy) rather you're just interested in getting to know her and have a drink. Im not sure if this is a good compromise to not passing up an opportunity but also not putting pressure on him at work. How would you guys ask someone out at their work? Canadian of Polish descent travel to Poland with Canadian passport. Ive always thought of it more as, Hey, youre someone that seems to be intereseting, and Id like to get to know you better. (Actually, kind of like a job interview in a lot of ways, haha. Thats sad. Please dont hit on the poor schmuck who has to be nice to you or get fired. Ive been pondering this exact situation, in regards to the guy at the corner store I go to. The customer could respond in a perfectly reasonable manner after being turned down, but the employee will still be extremely nervous about the exchange. I have to admit I had NO idea that this was a *thing* with retail employees. You can't pressure a woman into being attracted to you. Can't be whimsical if you're worried about life or food or shelter or someone who seems a threat. Comments are not for extended discussion; this conversation has been. For me, once was an uncomfortable first date, once was a few dates, no more, once was an amazing relationship and one turned into a stalker. But then even if she says yeah I have to find a way to get her my number quickly. Its really helping me to figure out what to do (and Ive been debating this with myself for awhile now) and Im really grateful that so many people chose to respond. Im sure the OP isnt looking to treat the worker like a piece of meat for their amusement. Im not sure about women. Q: How should I approach the cashier? Another option you may consider is going through her manager. LOL did you really think one person could eat that much corn?. As someone who works in customer service and is literally paid to be nice to you, please dont do it. Don't ask someone out while they are at work. Hes always nice and professional, but makes sure that his suitor knows that he has a serious girlfriend. Theres also no way to guarantee itll go smoothly (he could say no, or you could go out and it could be disastrous), so if thats going to keep you from shopping there, youve got to decide which you want more: the possibility of a date with him or the certainty that you can continue comfortably going to that store. When I worked in retail, I probably would have been flattered if someone hit on me but I was a teen boy. Is part of the joke that theyre attempting to steal the line from John Carpenters movie _They Live_? Idiot. Long ago, when I was in college, I asked out a nice, cute guy who worked at a retail store I frequented. A female cashier was unable to provide the return, though. You know, the douche who asks every cute girl out and thinks he's hot shit. I've never asked out someone I've had no prior knowledge of and think it would be fun. There is nothing in OP's post to suggest for example that he lives in a large city where the cashier is expected to be little more than a machine element. Act normal. Still, +1 for your analysis and advice to the OP. These results are similar to where the pay gap stood in 2002, when The world has always been creepy, you just werent aware of it. Scan this QR code to download the app now. I dont want to miss out if she really is as special as Im feeling, but I also realize it might just be me feeling that. That is a requirement of the principle of safe -- which also applies to you. Across the Country. Hello, OP here. Site design / logo 2023 Stack Exchange Inc; user contributions licensed under CC BY-SA. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Boy do I have horror stories. When she did, the man then ran behind her and hit her in the back of the head with a closed fist, seriously injuring her. Being a little bit creepy, is okay, if you can't help it (you should), but don't be a stalker. No luck again today =( maybe its because I'm actually looking for her as opposed to noticing her when she around.if that makes sense. It was very intentional for me to talk to you about games. Yeah, thats a sitcom episode waiting to happen. Thanks, I agree that being cool about it and reiterating that a refusal is fine is the way to go! The whole youre great, I want to get to know you, total stranger I buy my latte from is understood by 98% of the population as I want to date you, which is, to 98% of the population, implying sexual interest at some point (and the asexuals I know make it upfront that theyre NOT after a sexual thing). Hitting on generally is either straight-up propositioning or coming in sideways. A lot of males who work in retail treat their job like the Bachelor and its extremely frowned on. If you ask her as you are going through the checkout say "hi, how are you doing?" (I was visiting my hometown, where he worked, but I lived pretty far away.). If I were single and shopping and met an individual Id like to ask out I would have. Nothing high pressure, just hey call me if you want to get coffee. We hung out a few times, then both moved away from the area but were still friendly now. Who do I talk to about putting something on the store's bulletin board? They would try to dazzle me with charm, I would kindly redirect them to dazzle me with good work. What are the advantages of running a power tool on 240 V vs 120 V? Should be a great (event, e.g. Yes, this. Awkwardness all round. Which really just makes things more complicated, since theres no way for sure to know his crushs sexual orientation (something heterosexual would-be workplace-suitors should also keep in mind) and theres sadly more potential for the reaction to be negative if hes wrong. My goal here is to help you not mess up. This shouldn't stop you from being nice to the cashier, or the post/tax office girl. maybe?? He seemed interested until I got a text from him later saying he couldnt make it. And if you did look very good, you wouldn't ask this question, so I'll make the assumption. From a quick skim of the comments, it seems like Im in the minority opinion here (Im a man myself), but two things: 1. In a different life I might have chatted with her more than I did. end your doubts about cover letters, all ye who enter here, https://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2011/03/21/mythcommunication-its-not-that-they-dont-understand-they-just-dont-like-the-answer/, http://captainawkward.com/2011/07/04/blanket-statement-monday-stop-hitting-on-the-waitress/, http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2014/06/5-times-shouldnt-approach-women/, http://www.bodyforwife.com/she-doesnt-owe-you-shit/, my company decided to close for 2 weeks last year and charged me a chunk of this years PTO for it, what admin assistants really want from their coworkers, should my spouse have to be background checked for my job, one-way video interviews, and more, my boss keeps asking me to do things that aggravate our community partners, update: my employee wastes a huge amount of everyones time with helpful suggestions and questioning, 8 horror stories for Administrative Professionals Day, HR jokes about firing people, I want to stop giving reasons for my time-off requests, and more.
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